A Slippery Story

Actually, it’s more of a ‘Semi-Slippery – with – beads – to – help – cleanse – your – hands’ Story.

But a slippery story in general.

Because, guess what?

TODAY’S POST IS ABOUT SOAP.

YAY FOR SOAP~

Yay for helping us stay alive and not die!

Yay for helping us stay clean and let our hands smell good (or in some cases, intoxicating) when we eat and stuff!

Yay for the people who keep giving us the soap (as presents)!

We have one of those soap dispenser thingys (not the ones attached to the walls), kind of like lotion bottles, only with soap? Where you press the knob-ish thingy at the top that’s like a tube sort of thing with a straw sort of thing that dispenses the soap you use.

We have the ones with beads, and the ones that smell really cool. Right now, we’re using a Caribbean thingy. It smells good from far away, but the smell can get really strong (which refers back to the term ‘intoxicating’ I used to describe the aroma of soap).

Soap dispenser thingys, believe it or not, have their own minds. They like to play tricks on us, and be all mean to us. They like to mock us, and keep us from washing our hands (so we eventually get the flu or some sort of minor disease thingy).

What do you say? You don’t believe me? Well, now you will. Here is a slippery story.

More like a semi-slippery with beads to help—
Fine.

Usually, the soap dispenses soap. You press the knob thing really slightly, and a dot of soap comes out. And that dot of soap, containing a bunch of ‘cleansing beads,’ is enough to wash your hands. Serving size: one dot of soap.

You put a bead of water on top, then scrub your hands like crazy. And you feel the ‘cleansing beads’ in between. For a while, it was tickly, the beads. They were all rolling around my hands and tickling my palms. But then I got used to it.

Okay, here is my rant on cleansing beads.

So one day, I had extra time to wash my hands, and I ‘found’ a cleansing bead and rolled it up to my fingertip, and began to rub my two index fingertips together to see if the cleansing bead ever disappeared, you know?

It did.

(Either that or I lost it.)

Well, I got all excited, so I started ‘looking’ in my hands for other beads (you know, if you rub your hands, you can feel them), and tried to make them disappear.

THAT’S WHEN THEY WERE ALL MEAN. So I was all excited, but when I’d try to make them disintegrate and stuff, they’d just slip out and go somewhere else, you know? Soap is slippery. Figures.

That was not a rant.

Whatever.

And then, on with my other story.

Oh yeah.

Soap dispensers.

Anyhow, for a while, the cleansing beads were tickly.

And that’s not the point.

Well, I was all used to the ‘squeeze the knob a millimeter and one serving of soap (one dot) comes out’ thing. So I’d squeeze the knob thingy a millimeter.

BUT THEN

TODAY

and

YESTERDAY

I squeezed it a millimeter, because it’s a habit of mine, and the soap WOULDN’T COME OUT. It was being all stubborn. And looking inside the soap dispenser thing (the bottle is clear), I could tell that the dispenser thing was FAR from empty. (It was half full.) So I squeezed it a little more, pressed the knob thingy, I mean, and I kept on pressing the knob because soap WOULDN’T COME OUT. And soap is an essential part of our lives, you know. Without soap, our hands are not “99.9% BACTERIA FREE, GUARANTEED!” (I always thought, where did the 0.1% go?)

And all of a sudden, in the midst of my anger and pressing the knob about ten times per second and at a high amount of pressure (or whatever you call it, you know), a bunch of soap just shot out of the soap dispenser onto my shirt.

Please aim for my hands…?

Well, I am realizing this is a fail of a post. So I’ll just post it now and finish it. The first half of the ‘slippery story’ has been on my computer for over a week.

Yeah.

Bad post. Whatever.
Bye.