The Adventures of Stair Sliding

Hear, hear. Here is the adventure of stair sliding, or shall I say, here are the Adventures of Stair Sliding.

Stair sliding, essentially, is the activity, so to say, or rather, unpredicted collision or accident, of sliding down the stairs. It is when you are at the top of the stairs, and the next second, you find your butt bumping down the stairs, finding your legs and feet vestigial to the current purpose.

This (perhaps painful) ‘activity’ (so to say) is called stair sliding. The aftermath and consequences are not of the brightest. They may include bruising in the anal area, breaking of a tailbone or of the vicinity, and/or grumpiness, depending on how happy or unhappy you are with the outcomes, and how much the pain may be.

Now that I have explained the sciences to stair sliding, let me tell you my story.

Hear, hear.

actually…

Read, read.

 

SO.

I was in a city, at the other side of the country, in this state, which I shall not name (because I don’t want to), but this state I must hint, is at the coast, quite big, and stretches very far (in vertical terms, not in total area). The city, I shall not name, because if I name it, that’s pretty much naming the state, rhymes with ‘Disco’ and starts with SF (two words long).

I think I’ve given enough obvious clues there.

Anyway, I was in SF, on a cruise, looking at this island, which was the setting of Al Capone Does my Shirts, which is an awesome book, by the way, and I was genuinely interested. After all, it was the setting of one of the books I’ve read.

SF does harbor a lot of stories. It’s like the birthplace of all stories, almost. The houses are all colorful and beautiful, it’s a city but has an old country feeling, it reminds me of totally different cities all at the same time, and most of all, it’s peaceful, calm, and sweet. I don’t know how, or why. But it just gives me such a good feeling in my tummy, when I’m walking down the street. Everything’s subject to be in a painting, everything is so colorful, but not the obnoxious sort of colorful, but the colorful that lets you know that this city means no harm and that they are merely, humbly, decorating their homes to have a ‘Home Sweet Home’ feeling.

Anyways.

I was on a cruise, and then the cruise ended (…yeah. Never knew.), so we were going to get off the boat. But of course, the many many many people in front of us (we were at the very top of the boat thingy and at the very front, meaning we’d be the last ones off the boat), so we decided to take pictures. But THEN, having a mother who is so excited about pictures, practically attacking us with the camera, wanted us to take a picture in front of the stairs (leading to the bottom floor of the boat so we could get off). And somehow, we weren’t the last ones off, and in fact, many were waiting, yet, they could not pass because we were taking a picture right at the stairs (because it was ‘a great view’). Then, feeling a little sympathetic towards the waiting people, I urged my family on, down the stairs, grabbing everything (but the bag and the camera) that my mom had, which was, actually, two hot-chocolate cups, and started going down the stairs.

Those stairs are steep, slippery, and small.

I’d just like to let you know.

My foot just gracefully slipped over one step, and in a frantic wave, I tried to get it to land on the step below that, so I could regain control of my gravity, but my other foot gave way, and the step below that (the one I was trying to reach) was just too far, and I was nearly prostrate on the stairs when I began to slide down the stairs.

Trust me, they’re not meant for sliding on.

This all, occurring within about one second, sped by as I could barely realize that I was on the floor, much quicker and much closer than I’d expect to be there, and my butt was throbbing. It hurt.

Like crazy.

Apparently, I had slid on my tailbone. My tailbone, no matter how vestigial or whatever structure it is, still has nerves on it, and still can hurt.

My tailbone hurt.

So there I was, faking that I was very very fine (just to get out of more humiliation), and quickly sped off the boat.

Of course, the rest of the day, I was limping around, because my tailbone would not allow me to sit on any given chair, no matter how puffy or hard, without this major pain in my butt.

So I had to lean forward when sitting, so that my tailbone need not touch any man-made surface.

You can guess how the rest of that week went by.

(Don’t even ask about the plane ride home. Red eye flight? Yep. Red eye, indeed.)

 

So, I’d like to tell you, I’m fine right now (except for the slight pain when sitting, although I’ve gotten used to it), at least it’s not the needle feeling I had the day after.

 

I’d just like to remember this day. {:

 

Well, Thanks for reading (probably nobody reads this anyhow), and have a nice day.

TY A HAND!